Can’t Remember

Can’t remember what my life was like before the pandemic,

Before my mother fell in her house,

Before I became her POA.

And, do all her finances.

It’s like my retirement came to an end.

And, now I work for my mother

But, instead of getting paid,

It’s costing me

Not just my time and money,

But,

My

Sanity.

Lugging incontinence supplies,

Buying her powder.

Figuring out ways to make her life easier,

And, my life better.

Pandemic made me more of a homebody,

Getting more deliveries

Avoiding people

Eating out

Shopping

Visiting Museums

Or, just hanging out on a park bench.

Drive more,

Walk less.

Truly, wish things were as they were before,

But, they never will.

I just know it.

Never going to get back those days,

Those months

Or years.

Its like being in the Twilight Zone

Or a Dean Knootz novel

Stuck like a broken record

In, an endless loop

Making me so tired

I just want to sleep

Till reality wakes me back again.