Who do you believe these days?

Who do you believe these days?

The American health system is more about making money from its patients than providing the best care. The system feeds on itself by controlling outcomes and these outcomes are not necessarily helping or benefiting the patients in any way..

Having major issues with the care my mother is getting from Calvary Hospice and The Bristal of White Plains.

Finally got through to Mom (aged 95) last night at The Bristal in White Plains an assistive living facility on July 6 where she has been for 5 yrs. She was in her wheelchair after 6 and was by a phone that she picked up though she said she could not hear the ring very well.

Mother is not just on Hospice from Feb 2026 after hospital stay at White Plains Hospital that sent her home a cripple without Physical therapy or the ability to stand or even walk as she did in months prior. She also did not get the pacemaker guy in ER recommended as the family rejected this based on her prior instructions in living will. Mom has been paying for the highest level of care with the NY regulated and licensed Enhanced Assistive Living Care that now costs over $5K per month. Cost went up $1k in Jan. On Monday, July 6, 2026, my mother was kept in bed lying down without a phone to answer or call (she can only dial 0 for main desk in lobby). The Hospice Nurse was in the room for four hours and is paid by Medicare was on her phone talking about her own personal concerns. I had also tried getting my mother on her phone that same afternoon, but no one gave her the phone.

Called Calvary Hospice in the Bronx that night. The Hospice nurses have been telling me my mother has been fine for weeks. She has normal vitals, but no one is addressing her mental state or the need for more diapers. Came on Tuesday July 7 to put a 2nd old phone on the floor so my mother could hear the ring that she told me she has not been hearing since I unplugged the phone provided by Bristal.

On Tuesday July 7, the Hospice nurse called and we discussed the aide and nurse told me that my mother told her that she is lonely and feels isolated. And, she was prescribing something for her to sleep at night. My mother on the other hand told me something different about being alone and not lonely. She has a lot of things going through her head. She is anxious and scared of dying but is scared that when she needs help, she is not getting it.

This all depends on the aides who come to her when she calls for help. She is now paying over $15k per month and the services are not so great. They often leave her room a mess and she has a studio apartment for over $9k a month. Have observed this as well and have complained not just to the facility but to the state Ombudsman who did nothing to make things better. But rather made things worse.She also had a wound on her wrist that she showed me on July 11 when I came for a visit.

Our health system feeds on itself for profits and not always what is best for the patients. Procedures duplicate ones done and often do not tell you anything you didn’t know before.

When my mother was hospitalized in Jan 2021 the hospital made her into a cripple. My mother had fallen breaking nothing but because she was on the floor all night, she was dehydrated and called 911. Her medical alert button did not work and she pulled a phone down from the shelf with the cord. EMS took her to the hospital and this was my mother’s end. They should have given her fluids and sent her home. At that point she was still walking but instead they kept her on a gurney in the hall of ER for like 8 days. As a result she was no longer able to walk due to her age and arthritis. So for just water she ended up with a stay that made her unable to walk.

No one could visit my mother due to COVID and I was hopeless as to what was going on. They did not want to send her home because she was an old lady living alone. But I told them, my sister and I would help her but no they insisted on rehab. To me rehab is just nursing care and when I had to pick out of list, I had no idea that I was sealing my mother’s fate. I selected the Epic and that was a big mistake. At the time I could neither visit any facility or have the proper time to vet these facilities. Epic in White Plains was new and near me but they failed to rehab my mother as quickly as possible. They had no plan and I was helpless in helping my mother who had no cell phone. Even talking to her by phone was a problem and no one really wanted to take the time to make sure I could call her. She kept pulling the cord out of the wall socket. She had to be in quarentine and was isolated. They did very little therapy. The Occupation therapy was helping her dress. And, she went to PT but like for 15 min a day. Everything they promised never happened. She had no dental care or haircare. Sometimes they took her outside, but becuase an aide had to be with her this happened just a few times. She ate in her room and got no exercise for most of the day. She was either in a wheelchair, a regular chair or in the bed. Her condition got worse before it could get better.

Eventually after months she was using a walker. She had used a cane at home. They gave her a regular walker without wheels. Toileting was horrible. They had a catheter in her most of the time.

After finally talking to my mother who I had not seen for 4 months due to Covid, my mother decided to stay in the Epic. They were happy but not me. After 100 days, Medicare doesn’t pay a thing and she was paying $30k a month. Had to find funds to pay for all this. My mother had a lot of IRA accounts, a TSA and a lot of Certificate of Deposits. I had to as POA cash out many of these accounts and it took time because the banks were the worst when it came to using a POA that was like decades old.

In April 202, called a relator who I met at her house in Yonkers that I had been watching and maintaining for 4 months. He told to clear out the house. My aim was to get everything ready for June that was good time to sell. Took me about a month to clear 9 rooms of stuff and a big back yard with problems from one neighbor who encroached on her property, another who has basically abandoned his property and another that were putting yard debris on her property. They even tried putting in a fence on her property without permits that Yonkers required.

Mother had a lot of stuff and backyard was not well maintained even with landscapers who just basically trimmed her front yard bushes by the house and did a lot of blowing of leaves without trimming all the ivy that was a big mess on the front lawn. The upper yard was the worst with trees down and ivy growing up the others. There was no path to get to it that I also had to clear. Had asked a neighbor down the street that had been a childhood friend and was still friendly with my mom.

House went up for sale around June basically as a fixer upper. Asking for 450k. Had lots of interest but it took me 6 months to close out 3 permits from 1960’s.

Meantime, I had done the “Place for Mom” thing and did finally get a visit with my mother. We had to sit downstairs and even one visit outside in front of building right by the busy Church St. In June The Bristal called me and the person of contact said he could get my mother out and provide for her needs for about half the amount she was paying. Got a walker with wheels and with my sister, we drove my mother out of the Epic against their advice right before Independence Day 2021. They even said the walker was too dangerous. And, they were wrong about that. At The Bristal I could visit my mother without appointments, go to her room.

Mom had been pretty independent most of the time at The Bristal in the beginning and she was so much happier. Her hearing situation made it hard for her to hear conversation and she could not see people who were even waving and saying hi. She got new hearing aids and they worked for a bit but over time but she had trouble putting them in her ears and had trouble with the recharger. Found out that people who came into her room were turning off the electricity for the wall socket by her bed where the recharge box was located.

And, then The Bristal kept sending her to the hospital. The longer she stayed the more crippled she became. In 2023, she had to go to rehab and this time I found one in Portchester that only did rehab. They were great with a plan and got her back to The Bristal in 20 days when Medicare covers 100%. Still had to take COVID tests and wear a mask but at least I could visit. They had a plan and she got PT for at least an hour or so each day. Biggest problem was sharing a room and then a bathroom with the room next door.

But going back, I asked for a wheelchair so my mother could manage going from her room to the dining area. But the chair they got did not allow her to wheel herself, so she needed escorts. They wanted her to use Hoyer lift, but my mother rejected it. She was able to go from a chair to her walker for the bathroom and needed to go to the walker to the wheelchair in that order. The Hoyer lift disappeared but not the higher charges.

Every hospitalization was a problem and in 2025 my mother went 4x. The reasons varied but most were unnecessary. But in 2026 Feb my mother’s heart paused and restarted numerous times. They wanted to put a pacemaker in her but this the family didn’t want. Hospital put her on Hospice. Again, she was a cripple but this time no PT was allowed. My mother was no longer able to lift herself and use a walker. Mom had mobility issues, but hospital stays made things worse. It also exposed the neglect that The Bristal was giving her for 3 yrs. She was already at the highest level of care and I had to sign for the Hoyer lift again. But the lift did not go in the bathroom, and it took 3 people to drag her to the bathroom. This was torture putting stress on her heart. Most of the time she would have to wait for over 30 min before someone came to help her and they could find 3 people to assist. Even when it was decided by The Bristal and Hospice that my mother would not use the toilet but do her business in her diaper, the aides were still taking her to the toilet with three people assisting. They would stand in the bathroom with her while she was trying to do her business. This was horrible to watch and gave her no privacy at all.

Imagine doing your business with 3 people standing around you. They also have to change her on the bed tossing her back and forth while she screams and reacts negatively to this. She also would have to be washed on the bed and they stopped washing her hair. Some of the aides laugh during this process and one this Sunday accused me of taking her tablet that each person carries.

Aides leave her room a mess, tossing her clothing, pillows and blankets while dropping toiletries on the floor. They open multiple containers of the same thing as containers got lost in the mess by her bed. Rearranged her room and organized things for the aides to work with her by her bed but they still leave a mess leaving used gloves, wipes and uncovered ointment and lotion in containers by her bed. Once found the cap to deodorant on the floor. Housekeeper comes in and puts bed covers on top of everything, so things get buried. Take pictures. I did ask the Hospice aides to help clean up and put things away but they don’t do anything much.

For one Sat with a BBQ day before Father’s Day, my mother was wearing her nightshirt sitting in the very public Bistro (lounge area). Brought her to the office to show the administration that this was not acceptable. This is all neglect and abuse. They also tell my mother not to call for help and have left the fob call button off her numerous times. I asked Ombudsman to visit but she did little if anything to make things right.

It is the system that put my mother out of her home of 67 yrs. Hospital leaves one in worse condition physically after a stay. All the unnecessary procedures and even surgeries are just proving to me how right I am. And it isn’t always right to be right, and this is true with our Health system.

Had a thickness in my endometrium for decades and had procedures all the time. MRIs and even attempts at biopsis so had a number of DNCs. But after ignoring things and rejecting another DNC, I began to bleed profusely about the time I was clearing out my mother’s house. All signs showed cancer but instead of just doing a hysterectomy, they did a DNC first. This was just a foolish procedure at this point because the uterus should have been gone over a decade ago.

When I had a suspicious biopsy with my thyroid in 2013, they ended up doing surgery. Told doctor to take out not just the half with suspicious nodule but to take out the whole thyroid. This turned out to be a good decision as the nodule was cancerous and I avoided a 2nd operation.

Everyone lies and now dealing with a contractor who is remodeling my upstairs bathroom. He is weeks beyond the 2 he told me this would take and even claimed his van was disabled and left on my driveway overnight. But not only did he not show the next day as promised, the van (that is illegal to store in White Plains on driveways) the van was there till Monday.

But this is not my body or my life. When it comes to you and your body, who are you going to trust to make a good decision for you. Second opinions are a good thing and did this to avoid knee surgery when I had a meniscus tear in right knee. Doctors, hospitals and nursing homes see each of us as the means to not just stay in business but to make more money.

And, then sometimes it is the health plan that requires to first do an X ray, then a PT or CT scan, followed with an MRI, biopsies and then surgery. But then with some cancers, preventative surgeries are done just based on DNA testing. This is done with breast cancer.

Have been under a lot of stress since my mother went on Hospice in Feb. Switched from depression to being manic. Developed migraines and have been dizzy ever since from early morning around 5am till about 4pm.

Then the mice come back big time in March. They also found termites in my garage and then after a painter botched my house job found out I have lead paint not just on the exterior but in the house including all the radiators. I was not given this info at closing.

Had my house tested for toxins and then for lead. Have been tested for that mice virus, Lyme and for lead. Got filtering machines for the dust but there were no toxins.

Don’t trust anyone and look into things for yourself. Do online research and dig till you find answers. All my doctors have not helped me. Finally seeing Neurologist next week after waiting like more than a month.

Sometimes the suggested medicines just cause other problems. Finally, off Metformin with normal sugar results with the injectables. I lost about lbs or more and wearing 1x or just xl instead of 3x. Hopefully I will lose more. I have a hernia from the total hysterectomy. That will take another operation.

I just don’t seem to be able to get a break. Trust is hard to find these days. Lying has become more of the norm and when it matters most, one needs to know facts not fiction.

This is largely unedited but wanted to post this.